Scripts for Setting Boundaries When You’re Afraid to Disappoint People

Real-world language for anxious overthinkers, people-pleasers, and recovering perfectionists

Have you ever said “yes” to something while your entire body screamed “no”? 🙋‍♀️ Maybe you agreed to a project at work when your plate was already overflowing. Or maybe you said yes to dinner with a friend when what you really needed was sweatpants and Netflix.

Here’s the truth: setting boundaries is an act of kindness towards both yourself and others (even if it doesn’t feel like it at first). And yet, for many of us, the idea of saying “no” (or even “not right now”) can send us spiraling into guilt, overthinking, or endless people-pleasing.

But boundaries don’t have to sound harsh. In fact, the best ones are often simple, kind, and clear. To help you get started, I’ve put together a few “scripts” you can borrow. Think of them as training wheels until the language starts to feel natural for you.

❤️ A Kind, Simple No

Sometimes the hardest word to say is also the shortest. The key is keeping it direct, without apologizing for existing.

💬 “Thanks so much for thinking of me, but I can’t take this on right now.”

💬 “I really appreciate the invite, but I’ll have to pass this time.”

Notice how you don’t owe a ten-minute explanation. A kind no is enough.

⏳ Buying Yourself Some Breathing Room

You don’t owe anyone an instant yes. If you tend to panic in the moment, give yourself a buffer. This option works best if you can hold yourself accountable to follow up. 

💬 “I need to check my schedule and get back to you.”

💬 “Can I think about that and let you know tomorrow?”

This gives you space to respond thoughtfully instead of out of reflex.

👉 A Gentle Redirect

Boundaries don’t have to be walls—they can be doors. Sometimes you can’t give exactly what’s asked, but you can offer an alternative.

💬 “I can’t meet tonight, but I’d love to catch up this weekend.”

💬 “I don’t have the capacity to join that project, but I’m happy to brainstorm some ideas for you.”

This honors your limits while still showing care.

🛑 The Confident Yes (With Boundaries Built In)

Not every boundary is a no. Sometimes it’s about saying yes—on your terms.

💬 “Yes, I can help with that, but I’ll need at least a week’s notice.”

💬 “I’d love to come by, but I can only stay for an hour.”

Clear conditions help you show up fully, without overextending.

🌱 When You’re Not Sure Yet

Sometimes your nervous system needs time to catch up with your brain. Here’s language for when you feel the urge to say yes but need a pause.

💬 “I’m not sure what I can commit to yet—can I circle back once I know?”

💬 “I don’t want to overpromise. Can I check in later when I have a clearer picture?”

This lets you respect your own limits before rushing into a decision.

✨ Why These Scripts Matter

If you’ve spent years people-pleasing, setting boundaries can feel unnatural—even scary. But here’s the reframe: every time you practice, you’re teaching your nervous system that your needs matter too.

Think of these scripts as little rehearsals for self-respect. Over time, you won’t just borrow the words—you’ll believe them.

And if boundary-setting feels especially overwhelming, therapy can help. Together, we can explore the beliefs and anxieties that make “no” feel so dangerous, and help you build the confidence to protect your time, energy, and well-being.

👉 If you’re tired of overcommitting, second-guessing, or living with constant guilt, therapy can give you the tools to make boundaries feel natural instead of terrifying. I’d love to support you in this work—reach out HERE to get started.