Looking for a Therapist? Here’s How to Find the Right Fit

Deciding to begin therapy is an act of courage. It signals a desire for healing, growth, or perhaps just the relief of not carrying everything alone anymore. But once you've made that brave decision, it's normal to feel a wave of uncertainty:

How do I find someone who truly “gets” me?
What if I pick the wrong person?
What should I even be looking for in a therapist?

Let this guide be a soft place to land—a gentle companion in your search. Whether you're new to therapy or returning after a break, here’s how to navigate finding a therapist who aligns with your needs, your values, and the person you’re becoming.

1. Start with Gentle Self-Reflection

Before typing anything into a search bar, take a breath. Pause and reflect on what’s stirring within you. Therapy is deeply personal, and honoring your inner world begins with simply noticing what’s there.

Ask yourself:

• What brings me to therapy right now? Is it anxiety, grief, a relationship ending, burnout, managing symptoms, unresolved trauma, or something less tangible—like a longing for clarity or change?

• What kind of person do I tend to feel safe with? You may feel more comfortable with someone who shares aspects of your identity (race, gender, orientation, neurotype) or someone with a calm and grounding energy.

• What kind of support am I looking for? Do you want tangible tools and structure (like with CBT), or a space for deep emotional exploration and meaning-making?

• Do I have logistical needs? Think about scheduling, insurance, cost, in-person vs. virtual sessions, or the importance of cultural competence.

You don’t need perfect clarity. Even a sketch of what feels important can help you recognize the right therapeutic space when you see it.

2. Gently Explore Your Options

Once you have a sense of what you’re looking for, the search begins—but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Take your time. You’re not choosing a lifelong commitment—you’re exploring possibilities.

Here are a few places to start:

• Therapy directories like Psychology Today or TherapyDen allow you to filter by specialty, insurance, location, and more.

• Local listings and community boards may offer valuable reviews, local expertise, and location-based convenience. 

• Word of mouth can be helpful too—ask trusted friends, doctors, social media groups or support groups. Just remember, what worked for someone else might not be your ideal match.

• Free consultations: Many therapists offer a free 15–20 minute call so you can get a feel for how they work without any pressure. These consultations can be a gentle way to "try on" the relationship.

You might be surprised by how many therapists are trained to support complex identities and concerns, like ADHD, trauma, cultural transitions, chronic stress, or family dynamics. Whether you’re navigating anxiety, parenthood, challenges at school or work, burnout, identity shifts, difficulty in relationships, or neurodivergence, you are not alone.

3. Learn About Different Therapy Approaches (Softly)

You don’t need to become a therapy expert to choose the right therapist, but having a basic understanding of common approaches can help you tune into what resonates.

Here are a few you may encounter:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Focuses on identifying and shifting unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors, often structured, goal-oriented, and short-term.

• Humanistic or Person-Centered Therapy: A deeply empathetic, nonjudgmental space where you're encouraged to bring your full self.

• Psychodynamic Therapy: Explores unconscious patterns and past experiences, helping you understand the "why" behind emotions and behaviors.

• Trauma-Informed Therapy: A compassionate, safety-first lens that understands how past harm can shape present-day experiences.

• Somatic and EMDR Therapies: Body-based approaches that can be particularly powerful for healing trauma stored in the nervous system.

• ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy): Helps you build psychological flexibility, align with your values, and respond to inner struggles with compassion.

• Strength-Based or Positive Psychology: Focuses on resilience, meaning, and your internal resources for healing.

Most therapists blend these approaches into something uniquely supportive. Don’t worry about getting it “right.” What matters is how it feels in the room (or on the screen).

4. Feel the Fit: Questions to Ask During Consultations

That first consultation isn’t just a formality—it’s an opportunity to feel out the energy between you and the therapist. Here are some questions you can gently ask:

• “What’s your experience working with people navigating [anxiety, grief, neurodivergence, trauma, etc.]?”

• “How would you describe your therapy style?”

• “How do you support clients when they feel stuck or overwhelmed?”

• “How do you work with highly sensitive clients or those who’ve had negative experiences in therapy before?”

• “What does a typical session look like with you?”

• “Are you affirming of [my cultural background, identity, or neurotype]?”

You don’t have to ask everything at once. Let your intuition guide the conversation. A therapist who welcomes your questions with warmth and curiosity is often someone who will honor your full humanity.

5. Trust the Energy Between You

Fit goes far beyond degrees and certifications. It’s about how you feel in that person’s presence.

• Do you feel emotionally safe?

• Are they attuned to your pace and needs?

• Do they listen without rushing or making assumptions?

• Do they invite your truth, even the messy, uncertain parts?

You may not “click” immediately—and that’s okay. Sometimes trust builds slowly. But if something feels off or disconnects you from yourself, it’s okay to keep looking. Therapy should be a space where you feel more you, not less.

6. Consider the Practical Details

The therapeutic relationship is emotional, yes, but also logistical. Consider:

• Scheduling: Do their hours align with your life? Some therapists offer early morning, evening, or weekend sessions.

• Format: Would you feel more supported with virtual therapy or in-person sessions?

• Financials: Do they accept your insurance? Offer sliding scale or out-of-pocket options?

• Frequency: Are you hoping to meet weekly, biweekly, or at a pace that matches your capacity?

Life can be unpredictable, so therapists who offer flexible scheduling, telehealth, or other options may be especially helpful.

7. Give It Time—And Permission to Reevaluate

Like any relationship, therapy takes time to grow. Commit to at least a few sessions before deciding whether it's the right fit. Sometimes discomfort is part of the process, but if you consistently feel unseen, unsafe, or misunderstood, it's okay to explore other options.

Switching therapists isn’t a failure—it’s a form of self-trust. You’re allowed to choose what’s nourishing for you.

A Final Thought: You Deserve to Feel Understood

The right therapist won’t fix you, because you are not broken. But they can be a steady presence, a compassionate guide, and a witness to your unfolding. Whether you're exploring your identity, healing past wounds, or simply wanting to feel more connected to yourself, you deserve care that honors all of who you are.

Ready to Begin?

If you’re looking for a therapist who blends warmth, realness, and evidence-based care—someone who sees you as a whole person, not a diagnosis—trust that they’re out there.

Therapists like Macy Chapman offer integrative, telehealth-based support for individuals navigating anxiety, burnout, ADHD, relationship stress, and more. Her approach is collaborative, nonjudgmental, and customized to your unique needs.

🌿 Take the next gentle step: Schedule now a free consultation and explore what healing could look like for you.

You are worthy of support that feels safe, attuned, and empowering.
You don’t have to do this alone.